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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Fyre's Poetry's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
5:02 am
[fyre]
the flood of my life
running through my
tight little bodily highway
amuses me in the thought
that a simply metal object
could bring traffic to a screeching halt
seeking an alternate route
turning onto another course
after seeing the "brdge out ahead" sign
never once realizing
that their is no other way
and so flooding out of the highway
and into the existence of nothing
like so many stranded motorists
gawking at the bloody scene.
Friday, May 30th, 2003
12:02 am
[fyre]
Everything Gutless
the world
trudges onward
yet to the misleading path
of righteousness.
Sunday, May 25th, 2003
1:03 pm
[fyre]
Another new poem...
Dstroy Me

this death
washes over me
i feel
the nothingness
of eternal
unrest

longing
the violence behind me
can't feel the pain
the hurt in my soul
now no more
as I rot in this
container of worms

slice me
my flesh
rend from me
the blood
the force
coursing through my veins
longing for release

don't take from me
the pain
don't take from me
the hurt
don't let me die
without feeling the evil
the pain
that i crave.

kill me slowly
end this existence
rip my body from itself

tear my flesh
with your emotional
spears of pain

marr my existence
slaughter me
remove me from this hell

take me away
on bliis of blade
kill my heart
in the iron press

destroy me
destroy my mind
through all-consuming
pain.
12:39 pm
[fyre]
new poem
Slaughter Me

at the gates of hell I stand
ready to die
for your breath

at the gates of violence i stand
throwing open the voices
screaming as the bloody sword
crushes my skull

at the gates of lust i stand
feeling nothing but your mind
attached to my own
crying death

at the gates of slaughter i stand
arms held open wide
waiting for impending happiness.
Friday, April 4th, 2003
3:11 pm
[fyre]
trapped in my box
the muse escapes
crying out my name
from velvet coverings
sacrificing her life
through ink
Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
5:11 am
[fyre]
i.
the world is crashing down around me
my hypnotic trance has ended
i see the beginning of my disaster

i fall
deep within the bowels of earth
six feet under
flora above growing to sky

the blood ran
sweet and thick
out of my wrist
my neck
my heart

the hole in my head
leaks no more
for i am forever
crashing down

down into the depths of life
noexistant treaties
with beings eternal happiness
i flounder through my flesh
helpless without the light

i see the end
is all i see
forging onward
to reach the peak

i climb to the top
take the leap
i fall
down into the bowels of earth
no more do i have my mind
no more do i care
to live onward
for myself
for her
for them

existence ceases to call my name
i hear the siren song of death
i feel the pain and taste the blood

as i fall down
into that sweet taste
i lick the tear from your face
as I die in your arms.

ii.
the beautiful image
of your face
with tears silently sliding down
forming salty pools of wonder
in my spilling blood

the beautiful image is burned
like a scar on my fading mind
my soul will not forget
my soul will linger on

my life spills out around you
with my last gasp of strength
i put my bloody finger
to your lips

i gasp the words of love
as i slip into the darkness
i so crave.
Monday, February 17th, 2003
1:53 am
[fyre]
i've been left in the dust.
My love for naught.
Unwanted, unneeded,
oh how I've fought.
Rejected and dejected
I sit in my chair.
while knife's blade cut
just below my hair.
Monday, February 10th, 2003
3:26 pm
[fyre]
It must be important,
this insanity.
It must be real,
this pain i feel.
It must be death,
my craving deepens.

It must be light,
i never see.
It must be darkness,
i exist in pain.
It must be music,
that soothes my soul.
It must be fragmented,
this torturous mind.
It must be insanity,
this feeling in my head.

It must be real,
this fake life.
It must be false,
the reality of it all.
It must be me,
i cannot survive.
Friday, January 3rd, 2003
9:31 am
[fyre]
poem
(written at work.. thanks to Joe who managfed to inspire me to write this)

sitting at desk
work flowing through
the veins of my existence

yellow short pad
floating in my vision
scratched upon tension

letters and numbers float
through my mind
in search of a meaning
Thursday, November 7th, 2002
4:02 am
[fyre]
I listen to "Love Songs" on the radio
and think about how _much_ I love you
how I fall in love with you all over again
each time I hear your voice
or see you smile

And I wonder
though I say it often
maybe I don't tell you often enough
And I worry
that you don't understand
though I know you do.

I worry (too often maybe) that I say it _too_ much
that I'm _too_ intense for you, for now.
I worry that maybe this intensity
this depth
scares you (I'm pretty sure it does).

I worry I'll scare you enough
that you'll get "scared off"
Maybe like before
Maybe just back to the (not always) comfortable
distance we had for so long.

Maybe I worry too much
(I know I do)
but love does strange things
and I've never experienced anything like this.

Maybe sometimes...
it scares me too.
4:01 am
[fyre]
Schoolgirl Hearts

Schoolgirl hearts
written across notebooks
initials inside
last name experimentation
to find what sounds right

Love so deep
within my heart
I giddily express
and flaunt it

giggly schoolgirl sayings
scrawling their name
a thousand times over
just to enjoy how the words
flow off the pen.

Someone finds
this notebook of mine
and asks all the girls
whose it is.

I step in
casually raise my hand
"I'm male
and it's mine"
Monday, November 4th, 2002
3:19 am
[fyre]
The meaning of being lonely
Tell me the meaning of being lonely
and I'll tell you the meaning of pain.

When I lie awake at night,
deep in my bed
staring out through the pillow
held to my chest
I begin to long and hope and dream

The lonliness pervades my core
my soul, essence, being
cries out for someone to take
the place of my pillow
held tightly to my chest, gripped in my emotion

the lonliness grows inside me
like a virus
replicating, eating, teeming
within me
growing into something I cannot control

the lonliness grows within me
into a deep longing need
throbbing, coursing through my veins
the pain in my heart
the empty hole in my heart
fills with utter darkness

darkness with the irony of my situation
someones who are willing
willing to hold me, to speak my name,
to whisper in my ear
how much I mean to them, how much they care

yet so far away they exist in my world
either in places where i am not
or situationaly unobtainable except for moments
moments at a time
moments are never enough, yet all that i have.

show me the meaning of being lonely
and I'll show you the meaning of pain.
show me the meaning of being lonely
and I'll show you the deep, dark agony
of a heart without dreams, without love

without someone to hold.
Tuesday, October 22nd, 2002
1:41 am
[fyre]
I just write
no attention
I just write
to vent frustration
I just write
to lift elation
I just write

I just write
the words just come
I just write
they trip from my tongue
I just write
my fingers move
I just write
i'm in the groove

I just write
it's almost sexual
I just write
removing hexual
I just write
to clear my head
I just write
to be heard, damnit.
Monday, October 21st, 2002
5:07 pm
[fyre]
Everyone dies alone
in a vast
dark
emptiness

Everyone dies alone
whether held
or caressed
or simply lying on the floor
leaking bodily fluids.

everyone dies alone
the universe
expands
as time goes by

and yet we die
alone in our thoughts
the last thought
the last concious thought
never expressed

lost to the void
of emptiness
as we truly
die alone.
Saturday, October 19th, 2002
3:18 am
[fyre]
This started as a poem, and became a song.
I have no music for it... I'll sing it a-capella soon into mp3 format. i hope.
--

They Know Me (They Made Me)

it's the worst when it's
the people on the street
with their accusing stare

so many of them
it all blends into one
One look
one stare
one accusation

they think they know
they think they know
they think they know
why i am
the way i am

they think they know
they think they know
they think they know
all about me
based on my body

they look and stare
point and laugh
thinking all the while
how pathetic

thinking all the while
thinking all the while
thinking all the while
that they know me
all about me
all inside me
who i am
who i am
what i am
who i am

but who i am
would frighten them
would frighten them
would scare their stares
away into their minds

who i am
would frighten them
would frighten them
would scare away their minds

it's the worst when it's
the people on the street
with their accusing stare
looking at me
shaping me
making me

they made me
they made me
they've molded me
into what i am

what i am
frightens me
frightens me
frightens me

they made me
they made me
they fucking made me
this way.

it's the worst when it's
the people on the street
with their accusing stare

looking
stareing
thinking
they know all about me

in reality
they know nothing
(and won't take the chance
to learn)
1:32 am
[fyre]
I talk to you
in tongues and voices
you've never heard before

I speak your name
and my spine shivers
as I form coherent thoughts

You seem so very
very far away
and yet so close

I feel as if I know you
though truly I don't
yet that will hopefully
be changed.

I leave simple statements
reaffirming the day
in hopes they will make
you smile

As songs run through my head
lyric after lyric
mile after mile.
Thursday, October 17th, 2002
5:56 pm
[fyre]
Love me.
Not for what I am.
But for all that I am.

This...
flesh,
means nothing.
just a vessel
that holds my heart
my soul
my essence of being.

Love me.
Not for what I am...
Look past this.. rough
and doughy
exterior.

Look past it and see
Look past it and see
all that I am
and all that you mean to me.

Look into my heart
Look into my soul
See my essence, my self
who I really am.

Look past this body
because maybe
I am so big
because I have
so much to give.
Tuesday, October 15th, 2002
1:45 am
[fyre]
Think your soul is lost?
Think again
for I hold it in my hand.

Your innermost desires
your dreams
your beliefs
your love

Think your soul is lost?
Think again
for in my mind
your soul lives on

in my thoughts
you desire
in my lust
you love
in my heart
you cum
in my life
you die
in my death
you are reborn.

Think your soul is lost?
Think again...
for I hold it in my hand
until my cold
stone hand
crumbles in death.
Monday, October 14th, 2002
5:49 am
[fyre]
I am the man in your head
in your dreams.
I control your fears
your lust
your love
your nightmarish aspects
of fate.

I put the light in your eyes
as you sleep
I put the lust in your loins
as you dream

I am inside your mind
everywhere
I am inside your heart
everywhere
I am your deepest
innermost fantasy

I see
what you dream
I see
what you want
I see
who you are
I see

I control
your dreams
I control
your nightmares
I control
your belief in the dream realm.

I am the man in your mind
I am the man in your dreams
I am the man in your life
though you never know i exist.

dream.
Thursday, October 3rd, 2002
2:29 am
[fyre]
Wrote earlier tonight into my notebook:

Be with me
Just one night
Hold me
in your arms
Don't speak
and don't let go
let me know
you care for me
as much as I
do you.

--------

Hold me close
but don't speak

Kiss my face
but not my lips

Bare your soul
but not your body

Be with me
our souls as one.
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